traversing sabrina the teenage witch through imdb reviews

as I’ve been rewatching sabrina the teenage witch, I’ve also been furiously checking imdb for any trivia or goofs I can get my hands on – all the things I wouldn’t have known while watching it as a kid. while that’s been somewhat sparse (except for realizing that mr poole is actually paul feig?!), I’ve had a great time reading the reviews that some folks have left on individual episodes. 

I’m still only on season 1, so there may be new contenders as I make my meandering way through the whole series, but one particular imdb user really stands out, even going so far as to almost tell us a story about himself through his reviews. they don’t cover every episode of the season, and don’t seem to be covering the episodes in chronological order, but I will do my best to present them to you as they may have come about (with some explicating details on the episodes in question). 

in paul’s first review, which covers sabrina s01e16, they address an issue I myself have wrestled with – the apparent age gap between sabrina and any of her potential suitors outside of school. they’re right! it’s creepy!!

in paul’s second review, they wax poetic about the nature of young love and intimacy, making a sudden dramatic turn at the end – will they find love? and what stark changes in the world do they find so vile?

paul’s third review focuses on sabrina’s use of magic to turn into a double of libby as a violation, which, while true, needn’t be seen from so overtly sexual an angle. to say she knows her “with the intimacy of a lover” seems a stretch, given that she appears to have done nothing more than talked to some old folks and consumed ginger ale, and the underlying fear given in the assertion that she “has total control of libby” betrays paul’s lack of confidence in sabrina, who herself appears to want to switch back into her own body as quickly as possible when given the chance.

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paul’s fourth review has me worried about em – their remarks on salem’s vulnerability may speak more to a vulnerability of their own, given the aforementioned spiraling, though the cynicism regarding his “exploitation” at being entered into a cat show (at his behest!) to pay off his own credit card debt seems a step too far.

after a six month break, paul returns for a fifth review, somewhat chaotically backtracking to the 15th episode rather than the 20th, but seems to be in better form. I agree that this is the most bonkers episode of season 1, considering the incongruous (and gratuitous!) inclusion of the violent femmes, but wonder at paul’s continued sexual fixation on libby. it seems odd to me that they would be earlier preoccupied by sabrina’s dating a seemingly older ski instructor, but is happy to call libby a “piece of ass”. not only that, but I feel the feverdream remembrance of libby being pressured into sex by REAL WORLD BAND the violent femmes was perhaps spurred by the actual insanity of the show’s writers including a subplot about libby successfully (albeit magically) targeting gordon gano with her “feminine powers”. not only does paul not highlight the appalling nature of portraying a 16 year old trying, and succeeding, to woo a 34 year old, they also fail to point out what a violation this was for mr. gano himself, considering it was enacted through magic – and when he clearly wanted to be done for the day!

paul’s sixth and seventh reviews indicate that they are having trouble sleeping, and are attempting an interesting method of doing so using strobing lights (and apparently, playing the audio of the episode). I feel like this is perhaps a poor way to consume television, and paul’s opinion on the overall quality of the show suffers as a result. while I find the notion of tension at the awaited appearance of a cameo to be hilarious, I do wonder if that fear might not have been mitigated by actually watching the show. also, the suggestion that adults ought to play children so that paul needn’t “watch children lie for money” is somehow way more unsettling to me.

interesting how, in paul’s eighth review they find memory erasure to be a violation (which I agree with), but somehow manage to link it to a justification for libby’s bigotry. your bias is showing, paul!

paul’s ninth review was the first I read, and the attention to clothing detail combined with some unexpected vulnerability near the end is what had me captivated by their account of this seminal 90s show. I’m not sure which of sabrina’s various tops paul believes to be felt, as that’s an odd pick for a shirt material, but I both admire their ability to openly talk about their jealousy at a lack of friendship where they can freely talk about hopes and desires as regards imaginative magical locales. I can empathize with paul’s longing for friendship, but am interested to note on reflection that I am probably comfortable with admitting I wish narnia was real to just about anyone, regardless of how well I know them. maybe this comes with the territory of my gender, or perhaps my age, or perhaps because I am from america – whatever the case may be, I have not been able to stop thinking about it since. I suppose this is a good thing? I remain unsure.

since reading the tenth, and last, of paul’s reviews, I have been quite enamored with the idea of thinking through sabrina’s wardrobe as part of her character development and the place-making within the show. how and where did she buy her ensembles? how, indeed, did she put together so “arresting” an outfit as the monochrome vanilla number in question, or decide they were appropriate for school?

in any case, these are all that remains of paul’s fleeting attempt at reviewing every episode of sabrina – only 10 reviews, but what a journey they are. wherever you are imdb user paulmdowling, I hope you’re doing alright – and I’d love to hear your thoughts on the rest of sabrina. I would certainly be among those who marked your reviews as helpful.